My retreat

I am back from my retreat in a cabin in the woods at the Hermitage of the Awakened Heart in North Wales, and I share here a few thoughts on that time.
[Around 5 minutes reading time]

I was lucky to be able to begin my three month solitary retreat straight from the week’s Mahamudra group retreat, giving me a starting momentum and the chance to organise myself in the cabin. I was then able to give the Sadhana of Mahamudra of Khenpo Rinpoche consistent attention, which was great. My day also included morning and evening pujas and the Shakyamuni sadhana: I relished the freedom of doing these on my own, stopping to reflect whenever I wanted. I would frequently reconsider what I was saying and rephrase it in my own words — words which changed as different emphases or inspirations supplanted each other. You can’t really do that when you’re practising with others!

Reflection played a major role, particularly because all the various practices, recitations, songs and readings had a synergy, they all spoke to “View”. In fact you could summarise my practice by the three prajnas: I was studying or listening to recordings of previous interviews, reflecting, and meditating, which is a powerful combination, especially with that length of undistracted time. The other threesome to note is view, meditation, and action: view and meditation fed each other actually, leaving me now to see how this plays into my life after the retreat, the ‘action’. Three months was right for me at this time, it had a natural trajectory; I wouldn’t want to make that assumption for everyone though, one month could be a good start to see how that goes.

I always felt enthusiasm for what I was doing, even though I had obstructions, as you might say. I had an unsorted dental issue when I began, and my hopes that it would last the duration were mere hopes (“a bet on the future”). I had to have the tooth extracted halfway through, after which I felt much better. I went in with fairly clear ideas of how I wanted to use the time, and happily they proved a good prediction. I can’t go into all the details but to give an idea, I took a text to study in detail, I reflected on the sadhanas and on the principles of sadhanas, relating to the orientation of guru yoga; I spent a while on the Apramanas and I went right through THB* again. Later I delved into some Pali sutras which related to the same territory. In the evenings I went for light reading, such as the life of Buddha, the book of Milarepa’s songs, Keeping the Dalai Lama Waiting**, and a couple more.

I wrote notes of my study, some reflections which occurred, no poetry (or limericks), but I had no plan to do any major writing — oh I did keep a diary for my own benefit, that was useful as a reflective tool in itself. I had notions of doing regular exercises and emerging lean and fit, well I did emerge lean at least. I walked, at first on the local roads, then I began to want to stay more within our wooded areas. By the way, they were a joy, leafless and quiet at first but by the end bursting with leaf and flower and ringing all day long with birdsong. I saw a tawny owl close up, I watched a sparrowhawk hunting, and more besides.

I talked with Ziji once a week , which of course was delightful –since we share our practice anyway it was good to keep her in the loop so to speak. Lama Shenpen visited me monthly and I arranged to talk with Lama Dashon twice and Lama Agnes once. I also had an inspiring talk with Diane Denis, a French-Canadian teacher, student of Khenpo Rinpoche, who teaches at Kathmandu University and was visiting; she taught on one of the Maitreya texts at the Hermitage about ten years ago and we have emailed since then.

All in all it felt a complete luxury to have such a sustained period of practice, so my thanks to all who supported that opportunity including those who connected with my endeavours through giving dana. Tamsin cared for my welfare, Ziji held the fort valiantly at home, and I must say that the cabin itself is an extremely valuable resource for our sangha. It was comfortable and well insulated, a great place to practise. We must care for it, and replicate it too! I feel that between us all we inspire each other to even greater confidence in the path we are treading.

• * Trusting the Heart of Buddhism, a course in the Living the Awakened Heart training of the Awakened Heart Sangha, www.ahs.org.uk
• ** Keeping the Dalai Lama Waiting by Lama Shenpen Hookham Buy it HERE